The Boobkini

Links in this post are probably not safe for work. Nothing terrifying, just... stuff your boss probably doesn't want to see.

My knitting has taken an... odd turn as of late. A few months back, I applied to a posting on CraigsList asking for "knitresses" to make objects "roughly the size of hats." I am a naturally curious creature, and so I spent a good month mulling over what sort of projects were roughly the size of hats but still not hats. The only thing I could come up with was a bowling ball cozy. (If I had a bowling ball, I would make one just so I could say I had a bowling ball cozy.)

After a few weeks of silence, the woman in charge got in contact with me and told me we would be knitting fake breasts for a lactation instructor. Oh. Hats. Gottcha. I offered to help with anything she needed--editing, yarn selection, all that good stuff. A few weeks later, I got an e-mail saying that they were looking to combine 2 patterns into one, and she would get it to me eventually.

That leads us to this past weekend. Friday I received an e-mail with the two patterns that needed to be combine: a relatively standard breast pattern that was probably designed for women who've had mastectomies, and something called "Booby trap." Also she needed it by Monday (... ... ...). And so I set to work trying to make what I have affectionately dubbed the "boobkini." First the breast needed to change so that it would look full but not actually be too thick. Then I needed to make straps. Then I needed to figure out how to connect the two.

15 hours and a trip to Joann fabrics later, it was finished. It was a slog to get it done, mostly because every decision needed to be correct the first time if I were to finish in time. but it's done. finally. and now I just need to knit a ba-jillion more of them. So regular knitting is probably on a temporary hiatus in favor of monetary advancement, which is a little sad since I was really enjoying Les Mis.